The Top 10 Limiting Beliefs That Can Make Care-Givers Uncoachable

Originally Submitted on 8/9/97.

Professional Care Givers are frequently uncoachable because of the limiting beliefs they harbor and the roles they play in society. There are 10 listed below that, individually or in combination with other items, may make social workers, ministers, counselors and/or social service agency personnel uncoachable at a given period in life.

1. A belief that Care Givers earn too little to pay for a coach.

Envisioning a larger game is crucial before many care givers can make the internal shift necessary to realize that they can, indeed, afford a coach.

2. A belief that asking others for help is a sign of weakness or illustrates a lack of professional competence.

This belief limits the bearer to falsely conclude that care givers should have their own act together in order to be able to care for others. They often seek to walk the talk without a clear sense of integrity or a strong personal foundation.

3. A belief that coaching is only for business people.

Many people who work in non-profit agencies frequently marvel the resources that businesses and academics enjoy. It's difficult to imagine having a coach if your daily routine includes coveting a used overhead projector!

4. A moralizing belief that something is right or wrong; good or bad.

Such limiting beliefs lead many care givers to conclude that they should be accomplished at taking care of themselves. After all, the reasoning goes, if I need a different philosophy or paradigm for helping myself, there must be something wrong with the one I have been advocating for myself and others! Such folks might welcome a shift from moralizing what's good or bad to simply discerning what works or doesn't work on the way to discovering that the present is already perfect!

5. A belief that the psychotherapy paradigm is the only one that can legitimately offer assistance to those in need of reorienting their lives.

Psycho therapeutic models profoundly influence the assistance that many care givers offer, receive or refer to others. Yet because of the often real or imagined stigma associated with therapy, care givers (and their superiors) often wait too long before seeking assistance. In short, they wait too long until needing therapy rather than obtaining a coach at the outset of wanting assistance.

6. A belief in academic credentials.

Bureaucratic organizations and agencies have a certain comfort-zone with academia and look carefully at the credentials and transcripts of those whom they hire or promote, whether they can be of genuine assistance to others or not.

7. A belief that denial is only prevalent in others.

This is the one that blinds us to the denial that may be operative in our own lives!

8. A belief that other self-help methods, e.g. coaching, 12 step programs, and community service organizations are competing for people's allegiance.

Those who are struggling for institutional survival often view other agencies and organizations as unwanted competition for the time, talents and financial resources of clients.

9. A belief that one's own faith or belief system is not strong enough to do the job.

This makes care givers beat themselves up emotionally! It calls into question the underlying sincerity, motivation and self-worth that necessarily serves as the foundation for wanting to be of service to others.

10. A belief that one's personal creed or dogma is insufficient.

A broader brush-stroke than #9 above, this is the ultimate sin that may undergird all the rest! When any of the other nine items begins to surface, an ultimate concern arises that the care giver has been backing the wrong horse! In other words, an underlying fear may surface which hints at basing life on a wrong set of beliefs that are now incapable of supporting us in time of need. This severely threatens one's ability to serve others with any degree of integrity on a daily basis.

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